Sesame Street’s Ernie Cleans Up The Apartment Lyrics

Part One:

(Ernie, singing loudly and wordlessly, is throwing stuff around the living room.)

Bert: Hey, Ernie, cut that out! Cut that out! (Ernie stops.) Look at this mess! Boy, you are the sloppiest person I know! Now, if you don’t get this place cleaned up, I’m gonna move in with Oscar. His garbage can’s neater than this. Wow!

Ernie: Oh, don’t worry, Bert, I’m gonna get this place so clean you wouldn’t recognize it. I’m telling you, Bert, when I’m finished in here, you could eat off the floor!

Bert (mirthlessly): Ha, ha, ha. I’ll believe that when I see it.

Ernie: Okay, stand back; just give me some room here …

Part Two:

(The same scene. Ernie is humming and brushing some dirt into a dustpan.)

Bert (entering): Hey, Ernie, the place looks terrific! (I think Bert might have said some line here I don’t recall.) Hey, are you finished?

Ernie: Well, just about, Bert. I gotta go clean out my toybox.

Bert: Well, go to it! It’s beautiful!

Ernie: Okay, I gotta go clean out my toybox. (Takes things out of it, one at a time, then throws each one over his shoulder after naming it.) Let see, I got my Rubber Duckie. Don’t want to forget that … I got my paper-clip collection … my X, to mark the Spot … my dog, Spot … that’s his name, Spot … Let’s see, I got my worm collection … old tape … my football helmet … my tinfoil ball … a peanut butter sandwich … Let’s see … down here …

(Scene changes to show Bert standing nearby and sighing as the stuff lands around him.)